Parenting Tips on Difficult & Shy Child Temperaments

Hey Mama, Are you wondering about ways you can support your Spirited/Difficult or Shy/ Cautious Child? Well, let's jump into it.

What are Child Temperaments?


Temperament is the way children respond to the world in other words temperament is your baby's or child’s behavioral style.


What are the Three Major Types of Temperaments?


  • Easy-going/flexible

  • Spirited/Difficult

  • Slow Warm/Shy/Cautious


What Does Spirited/Difficult Look Like?


Children with Spirited/Difficult temperaments have strong reactions to things she does not like, Is strong-willed, Have difficulty calming themselves, Demand attention, Tests limits, again and again, Sleep lightly or get up frequently during the night, and Does not like moving from one activity to another and lets you know it


Here are Some Parenting Tips To Support Your Child


  • Provide quality time- Even though your child is becoming independent, it is best to maintain a day-to-day special time with your child. A great special time together is reading a book before bedtime or even playing together during the day. Download Your Free Copy of Easy Play Ideas for Babies| Toddlers| Preschoolers.

  • Keep them informed- Explain to your child what is coming after in advance for example “When we finished lunch we are going to wash our hands and go outside”.

  • Offer praise- Positive reinforcement offers encouragement and raises a child’s self-esteem. “I see you put all the toys away; you did it ”.

  • Avoid labels- Be careful how you describe a child. Labels have a tendency to stick and affect a child’s self-esteem.

  • Do not punish- Explain and help your child to express their strong feelings in a more appropriate manner. First thing first; you want your child to articulate how their feelings for example you can practice every day going through Feelings Flash Cards or talking about each feeling on the Feeling Wall Art. This helps the children understand that there is a word that matches their feelings.

  • Practice & Teaching Calming Down Techniques- Teaching & Practicing Calming Down Techniques with your child has so many benefits. When your child has a lot of built-up aggression or needs a positive outlet to release his/her anger these flashcards can be a helpful solution. Just remind your child "hmm do you want to take a look through the calming flashcards and choose one? "

  • Set consistent and clear expectations- Set expectations, but allow opportunities for children to exercise their own control and judgment. “To get to school on time, we need to leave by 7:30. How will you help us meet this timeline?"

  • All behavior has meaning- Specific behaviors may mean different things to different people, but they mean something.

  • Let the child help- When your child wants to start doing things for themself, let them. It may take a few extra minutes or become messy, but it will probably prevent tantrums and power struggles.

What Does Slow Warm/Shy/Cautious Look Like?


Children with Slow Warm/Shy/Cautious temperaments usually warm up slowly to new situations and people, Cling to familiar people, Is watchful and cautious, and Is easily overstimulated


Here Some Parenting Tips To Support Your Child


  • Stay with your child- When you guys go to the park or even in groups. Encourage your child to explore by sitting a few feet away from them and gradually moving away a few feet more for short periods.

  • Validate their feelings- Validate your children's feelings For example, ‘I can see you feel a bit scared because you don’t know who’s at the party. Let’s look together before we walk in.

  • Avoid over-comforting your child- Over-comforting sends the message that you think this is a scary situation. And the extra attention might accidentally encourage your child’s shy behavior.

  • Praise ‘brave’ behavior- Be specific about what your child has done – for example, ‘Jay, I liked the way you said hello to the boy in the park. Did you notice how he smiled when you did that?

  • Try to model confident social behavior- So your child can watch and learn from you. For example, when someone says hello to you, always say hello back.

  • Set Special Time- Even though your child is becoming independent, it is best to maintain a day-to-day special time with your child. A great special time together is reading a book before bedtime or even playing together during the day. Download Your Free Copy of Easy Play Ideas for Babies| Toddlers| and Preschoolers.

  • If other people say your child is ‘shy’- Gently correct them in front of your child. For example, ‘Lou takes a little while to warm up. Once she’s comfortable she’ll be happy to play. This sends the message that you understand how your child feels, and she can deal with the situation when she’s ready.


Why Understanding your Child’s Temperament is Important?

Understanding your child’s characteristics of temperament can allow you to understand your child and appreciate their uniqueness. It can also allow you to learn how to help, respond, and handle children to express their preferences, desires, and feelings appropriately. Here are a few benefits of understanding your child's Temperaments:


  • It helps you create a nurturing and positive environment

  • It helps you anticipate their behavior

  • It helps you respond with empathy

  • It helps you understand your own parenting reactions better


In Conclusion

I hope you found these Parenting Tips on Difficult/High Spirited & Shy Child Temperament useful. Remember your child's temperament isn’t a reflection of your parenting skills; by the time your child becomes a school-age child there, temperament has been defined. If you enjoyed this Blog Post, go ahead and comment below and let me know what you thought. If you have a mom friend that might be interested, be sure to share this with her too!